


No one will ever be satisfied

by turtles_to_the_max



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-15 02:11:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18064583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtles_to_the_max/pseuds/turtles_to_the_max
Summary: It's Alexander Hamilton's wedding to Eliza, and literally no one is happy.John Laurens is crushed, for obvious reasons.Aaron Burr is crushed, for the same reason as John Laurens.Angelica Schuyler is crushed, for the same reason as Aaron Burr.Eliza Schuyler-who-just-became-a-Hamilton just realised why Angelica Schuyler is crushed, and now is so guilty she can barely function.Alexander Hamilton just married the love of his life, with the other love of his life as best man.And Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette is salty that they couldn't fit his full name on the invitations and are now just calling him Marie.





	1. Chapter 1

The reception hall was hot, noisy, and chaotic, and Aaron needed fresh air.  
Stepping outside was heaven. The sky was cloudless and dark blue, the air was clean, and silence was complete.  
Until it was broken by the sounds of someone sobbing.  
Aaron followed the sounds to see a figure leaning against the wall, head in arms, body shaking. As he walked closer, he could make out some features: shoulder-length curly hair, wide shoulders, a soldier's uniform. It was a little hard to tell in the dark, but it seemed to be... John Laurens? Of all of the people Aaron could have imagined it to be, Laurens was at the bottom of the list; besides being the last person one would imagine sobbing anywhere, he was also best man and Hamilton's best friend. It made no logical sense, unless Laurens was really, really drunk - and Lafayette hadn't brought out the 50-year-old cognac yet, so that was fairly unlikely.  
He crouched next to Laurens and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey."  
Laurens jumped about a foot into the air. "Wha- who's there? Go away!"  
"You okay?"  
"I'm fine. Go away."  
"Laurens?"  
Laurens muttered something like 'oh crap' and turned away.  
"Seriously, what's going on? Why aren't you at the party? Does Hamilton know you're out here?"  
Laurens laughed ironically. "What do you think? After he's just had his dream wedding and gone away to live happily ever after with the love of his life?" His tone was unexpectedly bitter.  
Aaron sat down in the grass next to Laurens. "Dream wedding? Love of his life? Wait - this isn't about Martha Manning, is it?"  
"No, Burr. No, it's not about Martha Manning."  
"So... what's going on? You're his best friend, shouldn't you be at the party with him?"  
"Look, just go away, would you?" Laurens snapped. "Can you please not meddle in things you have no idea about for once, Burr? In case you haven't realised, this is hard enough for me without you interfering!"  
"I - okay." Aaron rose and began to move away, when Laurens spoke again.  
"Sorry," he said, voice strained. "Just... this entire thing is such a mess..."  
Aaron turned back towards Laurens. "You want to talk about it?"  
"May as well," Laurens muttered, burying his head back into his arms. "I've already made such an idiot of myself, probably nothing could really make it worse..."  
"Okay, first of all - how drunk are you?"  
"Enough that I'll hopefully only remember half of this tomorrow," came the muffled reply.  
"So. What happened?"  
"Hamilton got married."  
"Yes, I realised. So?"  
Laurens took a deep breath. "Promise me you'll tell no one what I'm about to tell you."  
"What is it?"  
"Promise you won't tell anyone. Especially Hamilton."  
"Okay, I promise. What is it?"  
Laurens was silent for a while.  
"Laurens? Hello?"  
"I'm gay."  
There was a pause.  
"You're what?"  
"I'm gay," Laurens repeated. "A sodomite, a homosexual, a pansy, whatever you want to call it. I. Like. Guys."  
"Okay... and? I get that it's a pretty big deal, but why right now?"  
Laurens snorted. "You still don't get it, Burr?"  
"Um, no..."  
"Me. In love with Alexander. I watch Alexander fall in love. With someone that isn't me. Alexander gets married. To that someone who is not me. That clear enough for you, Burr?"  
"Oh," said Aaron softly. "Oh. Oh no, oh no, oh no..."  
"What is it, Burr?"  
"I... this is really awkward. Please don't tell anyone."  
"Yes?"  
Aaron felt his cheeks heating up. "I... um, I liked him too."  
"You what now?" Laurens' voice was incredulous.  
"I- I liked him, too. From that moment when I bought him a drink on. And I knew he would never like me back, but I could always hope... and then he met you, and you two became instant best friends, and it was all over." Aaron covered his face with his hands. "This is so embarrassing. Please don't hate me."  
Laurens laughed. "Well, that's one thing we have in common. But," and he smiled self-consciously, "he is really cute, isn't he?"  
Aaron blushed even more. "Yeah, I guess he kinda is..."  
Laurens grinned. "I knew I couldn't be the only one who thought so."  
"And when he gives one of his speeches, it's like someone's lit a fire in you," Aaron continued. "Like, you literally just want to run up to wherever he's standing and kiss him... am I saying too much?" He put his head in his hands again. "This is just so weird... like, are you my only confidant, or my rival?"  
"I mean, it doesn't matter now, does it?" Laurens replied, the smile slipping off his face. "He's married now... I doubt he ever felt anything for me except 'best friend' anyways." His voice had changed back into the bitter tones from earlier. "I should probably go, they'll be wondering where I am. You should too, Burr." He stood up and started to walk away.  
"Wait!" Aaron cried. He wasn't sure exactly what he wanted, but he knew that it shouldn't just end like this.  
Laurens turned back around, his face blurred in the dark. "What?"  
"I... I'm sorry," Aaron stammered. "I guess it's just... I only saw him once in a while, but you worked by his side every day, and that must have been hard... you know what, I should just stop talking."  
"Good idea." Laurens' voice seemed close to breaking.  
On impulse, Aaron stepped forward and pulled Laurens into a hug. Laurens tensed up momentarily, but relaxed and hugged Burr back.  
"So," said Aaron after they had separated again, "should we go back? Lafayette and Mulligan are probably passed-out drunk by now, and there's no way I'm missing out on watching that."  
Laurens snorted. "Speak for yourself, Burr. Personally, I just want to get drunk enough to join them."


	2. No one will ever be satisfied - Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets a nasty surprise. This was NOT how he exactly imagined his wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what? y'alls thought I was done with the heartbreak? dream on, children

"Have you seen Laurens?" Alex asked. "He stepped outside ten minutes ago, and I haven't seen him since."  
Angelica, who was dancing beside him, smirked. "Seriously? Knowing him, he's already completely drunk from Lafayette's 50-year-old cognac and busy impersonating a duck or something."  
Alex grinned back. "True enough. John did always have a talent for impersonating ducks..."  
Angelica laughed and shoved him playfully; Alex pretended not to notice how his heart did a little flutter-skip-hop routine when she did that.  
"May I have the honor of a dance, my lady?" In a swish of skirts, Eliza appeared behind Angelica.  
Angelica pretended to blush. "Of course, good sir."  
"What about me?" Alex protested as Eliza and Angelica started to waltz. "Eliza, we've been married for about an hour, and you're already stealing my dance partners."  
"Sorry!" yelled Eliza over her shoulder. "Sister bonding time, Alexander!"  
Alex made a mock pouty face and went to sit down at the edge of the dance floor. Two beautiful, smart, talented sisters - and he was in love with both. In the end, he had proposed to Eliza, but only because Angelica was already engaged to another man. A man she was marrying only for his money, not because she loved him.  
He sighed and walked outside, shutting the door behind him. Life was hard when you were in love with two people. And he still had no idea where Laurens was...  
The sound of talking carried over to where Alex was standing. Curious, he followed the sounds to around the corner of the building, where two men sat silhouetted against the darkening sky. One was hard to make out, but the other... Alex knew that profile; it was the one he had seen beside him every day, as they worked on General Washington's many secretarial tasks together. But what on Earth was his best friend doing lurking outside, talking to some unknown person?  
Alex crept a little closer and crouched behind a bush, where he could catch a few snippets of conversation if he strained. And then Laurens spoke.  
"Promise me you'll tell no one what I'm about to tell you."  
"What is it?" the stranger asked.  
"Promise you won't tell anyone." Laurens' voice lowered. "Especially Hamilton."  
Alex tensed up. John was talking about him, trying to keep a secret from him... what was it?  
"Okay, I promise."  
John went silent for a while.  
"Laurens? Hello?"  
"I'm gay."  
"You're what?" The stranger, whom Alex suspected to be Burr (which just added another layer of confusion), seemed to share Alex's sentiments exactly.  
"I'm gay. A sodomite, a homosexual, a pansy, whatever you want to call it. I. Like. Guys."  
Something inside Alex seemed to explode.  
So Laurens was gay after all. Alex had always dreamed about this, but never dared to really hope - if he told John how he felt, and John turned out to not feel the same way, then Alex could be arrested. Hadn't his mother always pointed out the men in the shadier districts of Nevis, warning him to never do what they did? But now that he knew, maybe him and John could start a life together...  
No. He had just been married, and was already in love with two women, which was hard enough without adding a third person into the conflict. If him and John were discovered, they could both be arrested, court-martialed, maybe even stoned to death if Washington had his way. And what if John was gay, but not even attracted to him? After all, he was sitting here in the dark with Burr... Alex's heart sank as quickly as it had risen.  
Alex had been so absorbed in his own thoughts that he had missed most of the remaining conversation, and he strained to hear them again.  
Laurens spoke. "I should be going, they'll be wondering where I am. You should too, Burr."  
"Wait!" There was longing in Burr's voice, and Alex's heart constricted with jealousy. John... with Burr?  
The wind rustled the leaves of the bush, obscuring the next few lines of conversation, so Alex moved out from behind it - only to see Burr enclose John in a hug, and John to hug him back, and the two to start for inside together. Alex dived back behind the bush as they passed.  
Once the two were inside, Alex allowed himself to relax, head spinning. He had fantasized for months about John being gay, but never had he imagined that he would find out by seeing John with another man. Never mind that someone else being Burr, of all people. And what if John and Burr were discovered, and John was arrested and Alex never saw him again?  
In love with two women, who of course had to be sisters, and he had always had a suppressed crush on John, but now John was gay too. Alex buried his head in his arms, wishing more than anything else in the world that he had never overheard the previous conversation.


	3. No one will ever be satisfied - Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza loves only one person in the world more than the man she just married: her older sister, Angelica.  
> Luckily, she never had to choose between them - until she realizes that she did, and it's too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hello heartbreak my old friend  
> i'd like to speak with you again*

"Sorry!" Eliza yelled over her shoulder as she waltzed Angelica away from her new husband. "Sister bonding time, Alexander!"  
Alex made a mock pouty face. Eliza felt just a little guilty, but turned her attention back to her sister.  
"So," said Angelica, as they swayed together, "you're Mrs. Hamilton now, I guess?"  
Eliza giggled. "Oh my goodness, I forgot! I mean, I always kind of dreamed about it, but I can't believe it actually happened..."  
"Well, at least people will be able to spell your last name on the first try, right?" Angelica grinned. "Well, that's one more thing we have in common now - there's no possible way you can misspell Church."  
"Yeah... I kind of liked being a Schuyler, though..."  
The song switched to a faster gavotte, and the two sisters were silent for a while as they adjusted to the rhythm.  
All of the sudden, Eliza noticed that when Angelica was not looking at her, her face fell into lines of deep misery. It tore at Eliza's heart to see her sister like this, especially when she had been so cheerful all evening. Was this just an odd exception, or - and this tore at her heart even more - had Angelica been hiding it all day?  
"Angelica?" Eliza asked, determined to help her sister.  
Angelica looked up, startled, and quickly smiled again. "Yes?"  
"Oh - um - never mind." Angelica's transformation was disconcerting, with a smile so real it was hard to believe it had been an expression of deep sadness just a second ago.  
"You okay, 'Liza?" Eliza's heart gave another painful jerk when she realized Angelica was the one expressing concern for her, even with whatever it was weighing her down.  
"Yep, I'm fine." Though Eliza knew she needed to reach out to her sister, she somehow couldn't. She was just mustering the courage to actually do so, when -  
"May I have a dance, my ladies?" A tall soldier with a distinctive French accent and a general's insignia on his sleeve appeared next to them.  
"Which one? Unless you want to dance with both of us at the same time? I can only imagine how that would look." Angelica, of course, was right on time with her snark.  
The Frenchman shrugged. "Well, I can fetch my friends if you so desire, my lady, but the closest one is right now -" he glanced over his shoulder - "impersonating a duck, from what it seems. So..."  
Angelica burst out laughing. "His name doesn't happen to be John Laurens, does it?"  
The man looked shocked. "How did you know?"  
Angelica smirked. "I have my ways." She started to back away. "I should go, I have other things to do. Eliza, perhaps you can grant our friend one dance?" She disappeared into the crowd.  
The man offered his arm to Eliza; Eliza took it, and they started to waltz.  
For a while, Eliza was lost in the music and the dance, and then a flash of orange caught her attention: Angelica, running from the ballroom, face in her hands.  
"Um... sorry," Eliza said, twisting out of the Frenchman's grip. "I, um, need to... go somewhere."  
"But it's the middle of the song-"  
Eliza was already dodging through the other dancers, running in pursuit of her sister. Angelica disappeared around a corner and for a while Eliza thought she had lost her, but the sound of footsteps led her into a remote corridor, where Angelica had collapsed and was crying as though her heart would break.  
Eliza had never seen her sister like this before; a little piece of her curled up and died. Angelica had always been the protective older sister, the one to look up to, the one who was always slightly better at everything than Eliza was. To see her like this, in her biggest moment of weakness, made Eliza want to curl up and cry herself.  
Angelica, by now, had propped herself up into a sitting position. "Oh, Alexander," she was whispering. "Alexander..."  
Eliza stiffened. Alexander? As far as she knew, the only Alexander that Angelica knew well was her own husband. So...  
"Oh, Alexander... it was all for Eliza," Angelica mumbled. "If only that night had never happened, if I hadn't seen my own sister's face, who knows what would have happened?" Her shoulders slumped. "But your eyes... they'll haunt me forever, I know they will."  
Eliza stood frozen in shock. Angelica... in love with her new husband? Or so it seemed, from what she could cobble together. Eliza didn't know what to think - wait, Angelica was talking again.  
"Eliza," she continued dreamily, and Eliza tensed up again. "My little Betsey... I do remember, I always had my way when we were younger... you were so sweet, and innocent, I could convince you to do anything." She smiled wistfully. "You never really changed, did you? I could have had Alexander if I wanted to, I could have broken off the engagement, I could have been happy with him. But I would have watched you suffer in silence, too kind to ever say anything to me... I guess there's some older sister code that says that you can't just let your younger sister suffer alone."  
Eliza was in shock. Angelica had given everything up, just for her? If Eliza had only known, she would have stepped aside, found someone else, let Angelica get the man she deserved... but it was too late now - she was married, together with Alexander until Death did them part, and Angelica would be trapped in an unhappy marriage forever.  
"Goodbye, Alexander," Angelica whispered. "I love you. But I loved Eliza more, and I know I made the right choice. But it was so hard..." Her voice broke. "I love your eyes, I love your smile, I love your brain. I love you, Alexander." For a few minutes, Angelica sat and cried, and Eliza wanted to cry along with her. Everything was her fault. Angelica would be miserable for the rest of her life, all because of Eliza.  
Angelica stood up and walked straight towards where Eliza was watching around the corner. Eliza hurriedly ducked out of sight. It was too late to flee -  
"Oh - hey, 'Liza." Angelica blinked a few times, obviously repressing tears.  
"Hey, Angie. I was just looking for some respite from the noise," Eliza lied.  
Angelica smiled weakly. "Yeah. Should we go back? I heard a rumour that someone is busy impersonating a duck after drinking Lafayette's 50-year-old cognac, which is something I don't want to miss."  
And so the sisters walked back together, chatting animatedly, both brokenhearted, both not showing it for the other's sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. okay so this chapter was the most trash of all of them  
> 2\. yes I know it's happened twice already that someone has come across someone else crying I'll probably change it later bear with me


	4. No one will ever be satisfied - Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding is drawing to a close. Laurens is bitter. Aaron is sad. Alex is confused. Angelica is depressed. Eliza is guilty. 
> 
> Lafayette? He is very, very drunk.
> 
>  
> 
> (ps sorry this took so long, somehow I just couldn't get the ending right)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIME TO WATCH THE REVOLUTIONARY TRIO IMPERSONATE DUCKS WHEEEE

"Can you believe this?" Lafayette yelled. He fumbled for a moment before grabbing at the wedding invitation in his pocket and waving it around in the air. "Look!" He stared at the paper for a moment, cross-eyed, until the blobs formed into words: Marie, Marquis de Lafayette.  
Laurens looked up from his duck impersonation and grabbed the paper, staring at it for a moment. "Who's... Lafyfette... Falyiett...Taftyetteliettaliyett... something like that." He grinned and slumped sideways. "Oh wow, the room looks weird like this."  
"Non, idiot!" Lafayette yelled. "People don't appreciate how beautiful my full name is!"  
Hercules giggled.  
"Beautiful? Personally, I think that even 'Marie' is a better name than 'Gilbert'." Burr leaned back in his chair, looking amused.  
Peggy joined them. "Yeah... I kinda like 'Marie', actually. We could make you an honorary Schuyler sister, if you wanted."  
Lafayette looked like he was about to explode. "You don't understand! So what if they couldn't fit my whole name - my beautiful name deserves an extra-big invitation!"  
Hercules staggered over and hugged Lafayette. "Don't listen to them - they just don't appreciate you, baby."  
Lafayette drunkenly hugged Hercules back. "You're the only one who understands, Hercule, mon petit ami...." He put his elbow on Hercules' head.  
"Quel sorte de petit ami?" Hamilton asked, raising one eyebrow.  
"Erm.. je ne..."  
"L'amour est un oiseau rebelle, eh, Marie?"  
Hercules looked back and forth between the two. "What... don't understand... this French thing..."  
"He means, he loves you," Laurens giggled.  
Hercules looked up into Lafayette's eyes. "Dance with me, my prince."  
As they randomly swayed together, Lafayette was vaguely aware of Burr face-palming at one of the tables while Peggy patted him on the back.  
The song changed to a more jazzy one, and Hercules let go of Lafayette and jumped on the table, going into what seemed like a tap-dance routine. He was greeted by cheers and whoops from most of the people in the room; Lafayette, jealous of the attention, jumped on the same table and went into a sort of duet with him, drawing more applause. The music got faster and faster, and the two kept dancing - until the table started to groan ominously, then start to splinter in the middle, then collapse entirely, throwing the duo to the floor.  
The small crowd surrounding them broke out in a standing ovation.  
Lafayette dragged Hercules to his feet and the two did a few bows. Angelica ran to the front of the room. "Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Hercules and Marie, the Drunk Dancing Duo!"  
"MY NAME IS NOT MARIE!" Lafayette roared.  
Hercules patted Lafayette's arm. "Don't listen to them, baby, they're just jealous."  
"I love you, darling," Lafayette murmured.  
"I love you, too..."  
Peggy smirked as the two began to randomly sway together again. "Aren't they cute together?"  
Eliza grinned. "Well, they always say the French are very romantic..."  
Angelica laughed. "It was a fateful day when you decided to shorten Marie's name on the invitations, sister dear."  
Eliza frowned. "Is that how this all got started? I had no idea." She paused. "Wait a moment... Angelica, you were the one who addressed the invitations!"  
Angelica smiled. "Whoopsies."  
Laurens, by now sober enough to have stopped his duck impersonation, drifted over to where Alex and Burr were watching the spectacle. They were soon joined by Angelica and Eliza, Angelica smiling a little wistfully. Meanwhile, Lafayette and Hercules were waltzing slowly together, looking lovingly into each other's eyes. Hercules pulled Lafayette into a tight hug, and the crowd surrounding them awwed.

"Well, at least someone's happy here," Angelica, Eliza, Laurens, Burr and Alex all muttered at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also: please tell me about any French grammar errors I made.

**Author's Note:**

> for those who read too much into it: no I am NOT shipping Laurens and Burr, they just bonded over being depressed for the same reason


End file.
